It's a Three-Way Tie! (Yep - all about homophobic, pedophilic, emasculated officials in tin foil hats!)

Ok, so the homophobic pedophile is really just a lover of ducks, the one claiming that emasculated bosses run the country is a hack, and the one wearing a tin foil hat is from Arizona.  But that is no excuse!

There must be something in the air because the three-way tie today boggles the mind in so many ways...

Rush Limbaugh is obsessed with men without gonads!
Yeah, I know that this one is like shooting ducks in a barrel (wait, is that the next one?!?!).  I have avoided adding Rush before because it is way too easy... but since this one basically alienates about 1/2 the population, I figured I'd roll him in with the other wackos for today.

Phil Robertson is obsessed with men's "other" orifice.
Alright, more ducks.  Dude may be a misogynistic pedophile, but at least he is homophobic and the boys are safe, right?  Well, unless they go to his Sunday School and happen to be gay, in which case they will be scarred for life.

and the third way tie...

Arizona State Senator Seeks to Appease Crazy People in Tin Hats
Um.  Yeah.  Mind control.  HAARP.  It's "scary". 
Yeah. 
Wow.

"Strike!", I Mean "Bullseye!" - OW!

In baseball, it is "Three Strikes and You're Out", but in bowling, three strikes makes a "turkey". 

Are you also a "turkey" if you shoot yourself in the leg WHILE bowling... actually bowling.

This idiot is definitely a turkey...

"Florida Man Shoots Himself While Bowling"

And has anyone noticed how many times "Florida Man" shows up in the news?  That guy is really unlucky.

A Little Rat Poison? Say when...

Many times idiots only hurt themselves, or maybe one or two people close to them.  If nobody gets hurt it can be really, really funny.  This isn't funny, but he is still an idiot.

Pesticide Poisoning In China Leaves One Dead,
Several Injured After Chef Mistakes Chemical For Sauce

I have no idea if they just use generic packaging or what.  Maybe the Chinese character for "Rat Poison" resembles the Chinese character for "Ginger Soy Sauce" or something.  Regardless, this is both sad and stupid. 

Do you ever wonder if they keep the ant poison next to the tubes of pesto paste in your local restaurant?

Oh, what a f"eel"ing! Man Puts Eel in His Posterior

Wow... one for the books.  "Eel Removed From Man After Getting Stuck, Chewing Through Colon (GRAPHIC PHOTOS)"

Words cannot describe.  I was honestly speechless... until I realized this couldn't possible be the first time (I mean, with 6 billion people, what are the odds?!?!?)   And sure enough...

• Eel Removed From Man's Bottom In New Zealand
• Man Reportedly Dies After Eel Is Inserted In His Rectum

And remember, definitely do not look for "eel in the ass" videos on Google with SafeSearch off.  

Just saying.

Care for Some AIDS with that Root Canal?

This one isn't funny. I always want to keep my eyes closed at the dentist, but not sure that's so wise after reading about this alleged idiot from Oklahoma.

7000 dental patients potentially exposed to HIV, Hepatitis, and other infections in the Tulsa area.

As if going to the dentist wasn't scary enough, we have idiots like this walking the face of the earth!

Nancy "Hypocrite" Grace

Well, let's see...

She blogs every day, shows sensational clips every weeknight, rants and raves all the times about Caylee this and Casey that... all for a pretty hefty profit for herself and her "benefactors" at CNN. But then she has the gall to act with (possibly feigned) disgust at other people making a buck off the controversy.

Since I get the feeling Nancy Grace really believes what she is saying, I have to say she qualifies here pretty well.

My message for Ms. Grace: "Face it, Nancy, you are the leader of this entire catalog of profiteering off Caylee's misfortune. You are no better than any of these scheisters - maybe worse."

After due consideration, Nancy Grace, you are hereby found guilty of the offense of "Contributing to the Delinquency of the Public".

Read more:
Nancy Grace's Pages as CNN and Nancy's Caylee Blog.

Even Goddesses Can Be Occasional Idiots

Today's pick goes to show that not all idiots are disreputable, or even chronic. First let me say that I love Danica Patrick - she is a true goddess in my book. But her recent comments to Sports Illustrated demonstrate that even the best intentioned of us can lapse into degenerative behavior.

Look, I don't post these because I'm perfect - this is my way of reflecting on just how I don't want to live my life and sometimes do anyway. So I have nothing but compassion for Ms. Patrick.

Nevertheless, while she can navigate 500 miles of high-speed competition to a 3rd place finish against racers of the other (more aggressive?) gender - she still failed to navigate herself away from this road hazard. Read more...
Amid Backlash, Patrick Backs Away from PED Comments (click here)